


What If We Go Off Together

by Captain_Batman18



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:02:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27633827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Batman18/pseuds/Captain_Batman18
Summary: Crowley/Aziraphale at Anathema and Newt's wedding; fluff, because...well, just because.*Unspecified location is in America, because I really don't know if this type of thing occurs at European weddings, I would assume a variation does...?*
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Kudos: 13





	What If We Go Off Together

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this some time ago, and WANTED to have a new chapter for either of my other fics completed instead, but as those are being...difficult, I figured I would at least upload SOMETHING new. Tried a slightly different writing style for this one, as always, feedback is appreciated.
> 
> ========================

"They really do make a lovely couple, don't they?"

"I s'pose, still don't really know what she sees in him."

"Well she clearly sees _**something**_ worthwhile, or she wouldn't have married him a few hours ago."

"Man's named _NEWT_ , who wants to be married to an amphibile, amaphible, ama--a lizard?"

"Well! You're one to talk."

"Ssssssnakes are not lizardssssss, they are adorable danger noodlessssss you boop on the nossssse."

"How many bottles of wine have you had?"

"None of your businessssssss."

"Right. You're cut off unless you sober up a bit."

"It'ssssss a wedding, you're ssssssuppossssed to drink."

"Not the entire bar, and certainly not by yourself."

"...Fine."

"Better?"

"Ngk."

*DJ gives announcement for "longest couples" over the mic*

"Oh! What's this? Oh how fun! It's nice to see how long some couples have been together, isn't it my dear?"

*DJ asks for all couples to stand; a massive scraping of chairs is heard*

"Fifty years is nothing to us Angel."

*Newlyweds/one year couples are asked to sit*

"Yes, but it is for them, and it's so rare to see anyone make it much past ten years these days."

*two-five year couples are asked to sit*

"Blame it on technology. Or don't actually, I might've had a hand in some of those developments..."

"I hardly think you did more than give them a nudge, my dear."

"Most times I just tweaked what they already had...they really are miles beyond Demons at this point, it's a bit depressing."

*six year couples asked to sit*

"It isn't easy for us either my dear, so few are truly righteous anymore, it's hard to find even relatively good people."

*seven year couples asked to sit*

"S'pose it doesn't matter for us, what with being in both Heaven and Hell's 'bad books' after sssssspoiling their 'Great War' and all."

*ten year or less couples asked to sit*

"No...no, I suppose it doesn't...have you thought about what you'll do now?"

*fifteen year couples asked to sit*

"Nah. Figure I'll just keep on like I have, s'only a matter of time before they figure out what we did and come after us to finish the job."

"Ah."

*twenty year couples asked to sit*

"Don't worry Angel, chances are they'll band together and decide to destroy the humans before they come after us."

"How comforting."

*twenty-five year couples asked to sit*

"We could still go to Alpha Centurai."

"I don't believe you actually mean that, my dear."

*thirty year couples asked to sit*

"We could though, just you and me Angel, be safe through the worst of it. Not have to worry about being discorporated, or completely destroyed, and I want to show it to you, at least once, before, before...I...can't...anymore."

*thirty-five year couples asked to sit*

"Do you think I could, or would abandon them, my dear? Do you think I would be happy, knowing that we left them to suffer the wrath of Heaven and Hell unprotected? Could you truly leave them, and this world, to burn?"

*fourty-year couples asked to sit, only four couples are left standing*

"Ngk."

"Eloquent as always my dear."

*forty-one year couples asked to sit*

*forty-two year couples asked to sit, two couples left; DJ expresses amazement, asks crowd to give a hand*

"Angel, would...would you come with me to see it, at least once?"

"Of course, my dear. Now, let's hope this other couple sits down on the next go, we're already getting some odd looks and I hardly think 'well-preserved' or 'clean-living' will suffice as an explanation especially after you drank several bottles of rather good wine."

"Plastic surgery and botox."

"Oh hush."

*last couple sits at forty-five years; resounding and astonished applause rings out for the odd-pair male couple who claim fifty, though they hardly look to be more than somewhere in their late forties*

"Did you put them up to this?"

"Me?! I didn't even know you invited them until last week!"

"They're 'Other Beings,' not inviting them would have been rude and potentially unfortunate."

"They met us for about ten minutes during _**THE APOCALYPSE**_ , and didn't the tall bloke hit you with his car?"

"In all fairness, it was more that I rode my bike into his car..."

"Anathema, that's hardly the point!"

*DJ encourages couples back onto the dance floor; though the pair who claimed the longest relationship has mysteriously disappeared. Perhaps they went for a stroll under the stars...or among them*


End file.
